My last post was pretty long and had a depressingly vague ending, so I decided to make a part two. Because some things evolved and/or just changed.
I was supposed to meet up with this guy (K.) after a few days. I was dreading this moment, but it seemed like he just couldn't wait - he kept calling and texting me. For example, he sent me a text asking about ~our next date~, to which I said that I was with my friends and I'd talk to him after I come home. He then asked me what time I want to meet up and I didn't text him back, so he called me and was scared that I was mad at him. Oh boy.
Anyway, he was kinda annoying, so I came back home and wrote to him on facebook. I was waiting for our meeting to tell him how I feel, but I just couldn't bear it any longer. I told him that it was a mistake and I don't want to be this way with him, we should stay friends and he should stop bugging me so much. I thought he'd be sad or mad and leave me alone, but actually he started apologizing and was like "hey okay let's meet up tomorrow (!!! grrrr) and be just like friends I just want you to criticize my book haha". And he said that he kept texting me only because he thought I would get angry if he didn't keep in touch.
So. Yeah. We met up the next day. He bought a beer for himself and I just wanted water. We went to the forest and talked about his book and stuff. After some time we started talking about previous day's conversation. Turns out he didn't want a relationship with me, he was just "listening to his heart's voice" and "wanted to have an adventure without thinking about the future". And I should have been hurt? But I wasn't, cause he was really unconvincing. Like... I'm not someone with high self-esteem, it's hard for me to believe that anyone would like me in this way. But with K... it was obvious... He told me about a job he might have in England and that, when he's there, he's definitely going to "continue meeting up with me"! You can only imagine how happy that made me... ugh. He asked me if I didn't want to try being friends with benefits with him, and he laughed at how quickly I said "no". Then we started talking about comics and fantasy, then he started telling me about his BA and MA works, then about politics and Atlantis... And it was interesting, but I wanted to go home already... I did listen to him. It's just that... That's all it was. He talked, I listened. It was the same before. It was hard to even pick a moment and say "so hey guess I'll be going home", but I finally did it. And he insisted on walking me back...
Hey, maybe some people would like a boyfriend like that. He's kinda handsome, sweet, caring, talented (his novel is kinda interesting, even though it's very basic [good fighting evil] and has loads. LOADS of typos and mistakes [he's dyslexic]. Also his sketches were good. And he's good with a sword or a stick) etc etc, but he's just not the type for me. It's like he's trying too hard to please, it's not natural. He thinks our meetings were "nice and romantic", whereas I think they were "nice but awkward". He felt "relaxed and happy" - I felt "conscious and impatient". He seems lonely to me; it's like he's trying very hard to find a girlfriend. He's too open, too naive. I didn't really like him back in the days. I just liked the idea of him.
Later that day he told me on facebook that he has a crush on me. I turned my Wifi off and went to sleep. LIKE A LOOSER I know don't judge me.
We talked yesterday and he suggested another meeting, but I said we can just talk over facebook and that will be enough for me. So... I hope he will soon forget me. I feel bad for him, but he's the one that took everything to another level.
And also... about my crush... He wasn't mad! His internet keeps breaking down and he's been feeling worse lately because of his allergies. He's actually the opposite of mad! He wrote me his "sorry"s about not responding and we met up since then like twice or thrice and talked everyday. He's still going to school and he writes to me in the morning, asking if I'm still asleep, and then we talk... etc. He suggested doing a Hobbit + LORT or Harry Potter marathon, he invited me to go with him and maybe his friend to the sea, we were sad about how we won't see each other when I'm away and last time we met up (it was him and his friends), I wasn't sure if he really wanted me to be there, so I was pretty quiet; later he asked me about what was wrong and I said "I thought you might not wanted to see me"; his response was "I always want to see you".
I was supposed to meet up with this guy (K.) after a few days. I was dreading this moment, but it seemed like he just couldn't wait - he kept calling and texting me. For example, he sent me a text asking about ~our next date~, to which I said that I was with my friends and I'd talk to him after I come home. He then asked me what time I want to meet up and I didn't text him back, so he called me and was scared that I was mad at him. Oh boy.
Anyway, he was kinda annoying, so I came back home and wrote to him on facebook. I was waiting for our meeting to tell him how I feel, but I just couldn't bear it any longer. I told him that it was a mistake and I don't want to be this way with him, we should stay friends and he should stop bugging me so much. I thought he'd be sad or mad and leave me alone, but actually he started apologizing and was like "hey okay let's meet up tomorrow (!!! grrrr) and be just like friends I just want you to criticize my book haha". And he said that he kept texting me only because he thought I would get angry if he didn't keep in touch.
So. Yeah. We met up the next day. He bought a beer for himself and I just wanted water. We went to the forest and talked about his book and stuff. After some time we started talking about previous day's conversation. Turns out he didn't want a relationship with me, he was just "listening to his heart's voice" and "wanted to have an adventure without thinking about the future". And I should have been hurt? But I wasn't, cause he was really unconvincing. Like... I'm not someone with high self-esteem, it's hard for me to believe that anyone would like me in this way. But with K... it was obvious... He told me about a job he might have in England and that, when he's there, he's definitely going to "continue meeting up with me"! You can only imagine how happy that made me... ugh. He asked me if I didn't want to try being friends with benefits with him, and he laughed at how quickly I said "no". Then we started talking about comics and fantasy, then he started telling me about his BA and MA works, then about politics and Atlantis... And it was interesting, but I wanted to go home already... I did listen to him. It's just that... That's all it was. He talked, I listened. It was the same before. It was hard to even pick a moment and say "so hey guess I'll be going home", but I finally did it. And he insisted on walking me back...
Hey, maybe some people would like a boyfriend like that. He's kinda handsome, sweet, caring, talented (his novel is kinda interesting, even though it's very basic [good fighting evil] and has loads. LOADS of typos and mistakes [he's dyslexic]. Also his sketches were good. And he's good with a sword or a stick) etc etc, but he's just not the type for me. It's like he's trying too hard to please, it's not natural. He thinks our meetings were "nice and romantic", whereas I think they were "nice but awkward". He felt "relaxed and happy" - I felt "conscious and impatient". He seems lonely to me; it's like he's trying very hard to find a girlfriend. He's too open, too naive. I didn't really like him back in the days. I just liked the idea of him.
Later that day he told me on facebook that he has a crush on me. I turned my Wifi off and went to sleep. LIKE A LOOSER I know don't judge me.
We talked yesterday and he suggested another meeting, but I said we can just talk over facebook and that will be enough for me. So... I hope he will soon forget me. I feel bad for him, but he's the one that took everything to another level.
And also... about my crush... He wasn't mad! His internet keeps breaking down and he's been feeling worse lately because of his allergies. He's actually the opposite of mad! He wrote me his "sorry"s about not responding and we met up since then like twice or thrice and talked everyday. He's still going to school and he writes to me in the morning, asking if I'm still asleep, and then we talk... etc. He suggested doing a Hobbit + LORT or Harry Potter marathon, he invited me to go with him and maybe his friend to the sea, we were sad about how we won't see each other when I'm away and last time we met up (it was him and his friends), I wasn't sure if he really wanted me to be there, so I was pretty quiet; later he asked me about what was wrong and I said "I thought you might not wanted to see me"; his response was "I always want to see you".
He's really lovely and I'm kinda scared, because it seems like he might
have feelings for me, too. And I would totally do the first move or show
him that it's okay to do something (yup, he told me he never hits on a
girl until he's sure they want it), but then I think about leaving my
home and just basically... Yeah, I don't think it would work out. Also,
he's crazy (in a cute way) and always has interesting stories to tell.
I'm just plain and boring. I don't know how he puts up with me.
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